Which NFL Teams Are Most Like Reality TV Shows?

bolts cheer

The NFL is celebrating the United States Military and its Veterans this month in the Salute to Service. This got me to think, “what’s more American than mom and apple pie?”

The NFL and reality TV, of course!

Like many Americans, we all watch just as much drama unfold in the real world thanks to Honey Boo-Boo, Snooki and the Real Housewives as we do on the gridiron every Sunday.

I invite you to sit back and relax as I compare the NFL division leaders and a couple bonus teams to reality TV shows.

Go ahead and fulfill your guilty pleasure without having to hear the squeal of prepubescent princesses.

Jacksonville Jaguars

  • Extreme Makeover
  • ABC

bagsThe NFL welcomed a new owner to its fold with Pakistani-born mustache aficionado Shahid Khan. He found out the hard way that owning his own football team wasn’t at all what he imagined.

After six straight losses and having to travel to division-leadingHouston Texans on Sunday, the Jacksonville Jaguars are in desperate need of anExtreme Makeover.

The Jaguars rank 31st in passing and 30th in rushing while maintaining the 23rd best passing defense and 29th rushing defense.

Khan said that he will wait until the end of the season to assess everything including first-year coach Mike Mularkey via NFL.com.

Kansas City Chiefs

  • The Biggest Loser
  • NBC

I had such high hopes for theKansas City Chiefs coming into this year. What a disaster season this has been for Romeo Crennel and the Arrowhead faithful.

I have to admit that I was pulling for them Monday night against theSteelers as I wanted something good to happen for the Chiefs.

The losers of six straight games, winning their only game in overtime, the Chiefs need Bob & Jillian to get them back on the right track.

New York Giants

  • Dancing With The Stars
  • ABC

Everybody knows of Victor Cruz’s affinity for salsa dancing. He statesthat he does the dance in honor of his deceased grandmother, who taught him the dance and also loved touchdown dances.

There hasn’t been much to celebrate for Cruz and the New York Giants after losing two straight games. Fortunately, the rest of the NFC East stinks as well.

Chicago Bears

  • Hard Knocks
  • HBO

urlacherThe Monsters of the Midway are back. The Chicago Bears defense is ranked second in the NFL allowing only 133 points through nine games this seasons. They are ranked fourth in rush defense with 92.3 yards allowed per game and fourth in total yards allowed this season.

Their eight defensive touchdowns and 19 interceptions are best in the league and their 16 forced fumbles along with 11 fumble recoveries are both second in the league.

If you are playing the Bears this season, be prepared to get roughed up.

Atlanta Falcons

  • America’s Got Talent
  • NBC

Despite a heart-breaking loss to theNew Orleans Saints last Sunday, the Atlanta Falcons are for real. Quarterback Matt Ryan is second in the league in pass completions and yardage while ranking fourth in touchdowns and seventh in rating.

The wide receiver tandem of Roddy White and Julio Jones is incredible and nearly unstoppable when you add tight end Tony Gonzales to the mix.

Running back Michael Turner is also having another good season in the backfield as a rusher and receiving threat.

San Francisco 49ers

  • The Apprentice
  • NBC

Concussion week has come to the NFL and the second-year quarterback out of Nevada, Colin Kaepernick is slotted to start for the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday if Alex Smith is unable to go.

Kaepernick has been on the sidelines studying and learning from starter Smith and has done an admirable job in the six games he has played in this year. He has three rushing touchdowns and has racked up 50 yards or more rushing on two occasions.

Be prepared for the QB controversy to begin when Alex Smith is cleared to play.

New England Patriots

  • America’s Next Top Model
  • CW

bradySome of these are just too easy.New England Patriots quarterback is already married to a gorgeous super model in Gisele Bundchen and he has done “some modeling” himself with commercials for the fuzzy fashion for feet, Uggs.

Tight end Rob Gronkowski doesn’t like wearing shirts and isn’t afraid to let anybody…and everybody know about it. The big, dumb jock stereotype has taken on new meaning with Gronk’s affinity for spiking the ball and doing a little robot dancing.

These two definitely have great careers on Madison Avenue after they are done with football.

Baltimore Ravens

  • Survivor
  • CBS

The Baltimore Ravens defense used to be standard in the NFL. They now rank 26th in both passing and rushing defense out of 32 teams.

They have never had an elite quarterback but their defense has always carried them before. Current quarterback Joe Flacco only has 13 touchdowns this year to his seven interceptions.

They rank 20th in the league in rushing with 104.9 yards per game with Ray Rice having another ho-hum season.

How is it that they are 7-2 and winners in six of their last seven? They are survivors, that is how. Let’s just hope Flacco keeps his clothes on.

Houston Texans

  • The Amazing Race
  • CBS

Arian Foster and the Houston Texans are fast. Foster leads all rushers in rushing attempts (221) and touchdowns (10) and third in rushing yards with 872 yards. He also has two receiving touchdowns to add to his resume.

The Texans are 8-1 with victories over three of the division leaders mentioned in the presentation. The remainder of their schedule looks a lot easier than their first nine games so I can’t wait to see how this race ends.

Denver Broncos

  • Antiques Roadshow
  • PBS

peytonThe Denver Broncos caused quite a stir when they signed an aging veteran coming off a year-long injury. Future Hall of Fame quarterback Peyton Manning hushed any doubters with their opening game victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The entirety of Bronco Nation was ecstatic and believed that the old relic had some football left in him.

Manning and the Broncos then went on to lose three of their next four games and the whispering started up again after trailing the San Diego Chargers 24-0 at the half in week six.

The old man from Tennessee lit it up in the second half completing the biggest comeback in Monday Night Football history and took his show on the road winning at Cincinnati and Carolina.

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